Ise's oneshots (May or may not be very active)

Creative Section Literature
1

Hiya! This is me just testing my skills as a writer here, since I doubt I can stay committed to a fanfic for very long.

[spoilerAnother:3knxazrl]Another
I stared at the rising sun from my perch at the top of Daybreak Peak. The sun is like a holy ball, bringing color and peace with each dawn. I think even the most violent Primeape would calm down by looking at the sunrise.

“Heh, I sound just like Fukai,” my nine tails swished behind me as I pictured the Leafeon flirting with some pretty girl, “any girl but me it seems. Why am I so,” I thought for a moment, then sighed, continuing my voiced thoughts, “unloved? Everywhere I go, no one notices me, or my magic is sensed before I can even speak. Even Arceus is against me, I think.”
“Maybe if you opened your eyes, you’d see that not everyone hates you.” I turned to face the speaker, a shiny Glaceon with heliotrope eyes and dark blue ear tips.
“I was just thinking. Why are you here anyways? Shouldn’t you go back to that magic-hating village of yours?” I snapped at him, annoyed that my thought process was interrupted.
“Just because the majority of a place hates something doesn’t mean that the whole area hates it.” The look of hurt in his eyes made me regret snapping at him.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” I really screwed up, “who are you anyways? Some kind of stalker? Or Zanaru playing another trick on me?”
”Um, neither. You came to my village about six years ago, remember? Kanara?” He sat and waited for my response.
Kanara? There were a ton of Eevees there, along with their evolutions, so maybe he was one of them? “Could you please refresh my memory? Six years ago seems like a century.” Even though I’m only 40 years. Too young to be considered “mature” by my kind’s standards.
“Five of us were playing a game, and a dark brown Eevee ran into this Venosaur traveler. He went ballistic and almost killed every one of us with an Outrage. Then you stepped in, Ma’am. Black flames danced around you as you spoke to him, before you ended up using them on him.” There were only three Eevees back then, the dark brown one and two shinies. He was the bigger shiny, I remember!
“And after that, the whole village tried to kill me by sprinkling ‘Arceus Tears’ on me, like I was some kind of alien” I chuckled, remembering that day vividly. “So why did you leave your village? To thank me?”
“Well,” he looked down at his paws, fidgeting, “magic apparently runs in my bloodline, and it wanted to show up two years ago…”
“So finding me was just a coincidence? Or did you start looking for me once you were exiled?” He was just like me, another magician. We were both outcasts, destined to be shunned for all eternity.
“It was a coincidence, actually. But maybe Arceus has things planned out for us! We might be a part of a bigger picture that could change the world forever!” I never actually thought about it like that. I always thought magic was a curse, never a blessing. He might be right!
I smiled, the first real smile I ever had in decades. “I wish I still stayed hopeful like you did… I lost all hope and creativity ever since I was outcast from my home.”
“Maybe,” he looked down at his paws again and fidgeted, “we should stick together. The world’s harsh, isn’t it? It would be a lot less harsher if the harshness was divided in half between us, right?”
Once again, the wisdom of this guy astounded me. Maybe, this isn’t the only life he’s lived. “You’re right. But how do I know I can trust you?”
As he responded, I couldn’t help but notice the confident flame burning in his eyes. “You saved my life and my sister’s life before. I have no choice but to repay you.”
I nodded, my tails swishing behind me. “Alright, I think I can trust you. Just not with my life…” The flame in his eyes didn’t falter or die out, if anything, it burned with even more vigour. “Who are you anyways?”
“My name’s First. F-I-R-S-T. Just like ‘first place’.” His name was something so simple, yet fitting. I could tell that he wouldn’t roll over and play dead to save his skin. If necessary, he’d fight to the death.
“Karishma. K-A-R-I-S-H-M-A. Or ‘Kari’ if you want. I don’t really care.” Maybe if I stick with First, my magic’ll get even stronger. It’s worth a try.
“Well Kari,” those flaming, cocky, heliotrope orbs focused on me, laughter hiding in them too, “our future’s in Arceus’ paws.”
I merely nodded and we walked off, heading for whatever the world had in store for us. I just hope that it’s something exciting.

A/N: I hope you liked my first attempt at a One-shot! I may or may not write more, it all depends on my mood and if I get feedback! Note: Zanaru is a Zoroark who has a rivalry with Karishma. His magic is slightly stronger than hers as well… Also, magic is slightly different and it can be completely different than moves. With magic, you can get two or more status conditions out of a spell and attack with the same spell (normally not spells at ALL, not just status and attack spells), create something from thin air (normally spoken spells, and the size and quality of the item produced depends on your magic capabilities), and completely heal something (such as broken bones, a cold, etc).

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2

The sun… A holy ball?

3

KARI.

FIRST.

FUKAI.

I love you Ise.

This was awesome. :heart: :heart: It was veeery fun to read. And now I ship First x Kari. ;u;

You’ve got a few errors, though. I’ll point them out for you.

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‘I stared at the rising sun from my perch at the top of Daybreak Peak. The sun is like a holy ball, bringing color and peace with each dawn. I think even the most violent Primeape would calm down by looking at the sunrise. “Heh, I sound just like Fukai,” my nine tails swished behind me as I pictured the Leafeon flirting with some pretty girl, “any girl but me it seems. Why am I so,” I thought for a moment, then sighed, continuing my voiced thoughts, “unloved? Everywhere I go, no one notices me, or my magic is sensed before I can even speak. Even Arceus is against me, I think.”’

Okay…the first sentence was just fine, using only the past tense. But then, in the second sentence, you use the word “is”, which means it’s present tense, and you’ve got to keep only one tense throughout the entire story. Why not change “is” to “was” in order to fix it?

Also, “Heh, I sound…” should start a new paragraph, since a new line of speech begins. It would look like:

'…looking at the sunrise.

“Heh, I sound just like Fukai…”’

And then there’s…

’ “Heh, I sound just like Fukai,” my nine tails swished behind me as I pictured the Leafeon flirting with some pretty girl, “any girl but me it seems. Why am I so,”’

Since “swished” isn’t a “speaking” verb, you can’t have a comma after “Fukai”. You should change the sentence to either:

’ “Heh, I sound just like Fukai…” My nine tails swished behind me as I pictured the Leafeon flirting with some pretty girl. “Any girl but me, it seems. Why am I so?”

or:

’ “Heh, I sound just like Fukai”–my nine tails swished behind me as I pictured the Leafeon flirting with some pretty girl–“any girl but me, it seems. Why am I so?”

Then, “I thought for a moment, then sighed…” should start a new paragraph.

There’s pretty much the above problem in most of the dialogues. You should revise it. Happy writing~ :joy:

4

Yep. Watch the spacing after some dialogue. There’s always a break in the text there. Also, capitalize th first letter in the quotation marks like you would a new sentence.

Otherwise, check your word tense. Writing comes naturally to a few, but checking and reading over your own work is another thing. I have a problem with my word tenses as well. What do I mean by this?

I see most of your verbs are in -ed. (Past tense.) Although, some words end in -ing. Sometimes, it’s appropriate to do that, but sometimes it isn’t, so make sure you read through your work!

5

[spoilerTortured:3pqwnavi]An elven girl with bronze skin and straight long hair pulled back in a ponytail stormed into the house she lived in, dumping her school items on the floor as she made her way to the computer.

[i]“You"re ugly!”

“Why are you even here?!”

“I hope you die soon.”

“You do know that no one cares about you, right?”[/i]

The words said to her that day stung, like putting salt into an open wound. Yet she wouldn"t let anyone know that they hurt. Oh no. She bottled it all up, after all…no one needed to know about it. She didn"t need anyone"s sympathy and she didn"t need the people that cared about her to worry.

That"s why she had the computer. To escape the reality of life and to forget about the day"s cruelty. In real life, she was nothing more than a tortured soul, a victim to the harsh reality of bullying. Yet in the virtual world, she was the confident girl she always wanted to be. Everyone liked her, they wanted to be her friend, and most of all, they actually cared.

She could only grin as she watched the game load up. After a long day of hatred, she needed to talk to her friends…the REAL ones.

[i]“Why are you trying so hard? Your kind can only do field work and fill up the jails.”

“Women don"t amount to much. I don"t see why you don"t have a kid, drop out, and to what"s expected of you.”

“You know they"re right.”[/i]

Hi! I"ve been waiting forever, Moni! Finally. The game started up and one of her friends was talking to her.

Sowwy "bout dat! I"m here now and that"s what counts right?

MONI!! :D

KIRITE! c:

Oh look. It"s the nubs. Why do they even bother coming on? It"s not like they can do much.

We CAN do much! The elven girl started to shudder. Why was her safe place now a place of torture?!

[i]“Wow. Even the birdlizards hate you. There MUST be something wrong with you.”

“I can"t be seen with you anymore. You"re a bad luck charm…I used to pass every class, but since we"ve became friends, I"m failing. It"s no coincidence.”

“Just face the facts. You don"t fit in anywhere. Hybrids NEVER have a place in life.”[/i]

Tears rolled down her face her body began to wrack with sobs.

Moni?

Don"t listen to them Moni. :c

“Why should you listen to these losers? They"re only programmed into the game to make you feel better about yourself. Why don"t you actually FACE your problems and eliminate them?”

A sadistic grin slowly formed on her face. Why not make the whole world suffer the way she did? Why not finally get the respect she craved, the very thing she lusted for?!

Sorry guys. I"m not coming back. Ever.

She closed the game and walked into the bathroom, looking at her reflection. “You"re ugly. Look at yourself! Pointy ears! Dark skin! Long hair!”

“…You"re right…” She picked a pair of scissors up from the counter and began hacking away at her hair, until it looked like a ragged mess.

Grinning, she slowly cast a spell onto the scissors, transforming them into a chakram that crackled with electricity. “I think we"ll play a game with all of you who turned our life into a living hell.” With that, she walked out the door to her home, never to return again.
[hr][/hr]
A/N: So let me clear up some things in this one-shot. Birdlizards are green geckos with a bird"s wings attached to their back. They love anyone who feed them. “Hybrids” are dark-skinned elves with long straight hair, or long curly hair. They"re a cross between humans, elves, Ginorans [dark-skinned creatures who can walk in shadows] and Yoinars, tall creatures with long hair who can cast spells even better than elves.

Colored text in italics is dialogue that happens in the game, dialogue in italics are various things said to “Moni” throughout her life, dialogue in bolded italics is "Moni"s voice of reason, and the colored, bolded, italicized dialogue is Moni after going insane.

Also, this has actually been going on for years, but she"s finally snapped at this point.

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So…Much…Wordz. T-T

6

isseeee. //hugs

that drabbleeeeee. ;3;

7

Wow, your second one-shot was great, Ise! Good job keeping the same tense throughout the story. c: There was one small typo, though, which was:

“Yet she wouldn’t let anyone know that they hurt. oh no.”

The “o” in “oh” should be capitalized.

Keep it up!~

8

…

[spoilerGoodbye:tvjanei3]They made fun of me, calling me weird, you called me “friend”.
They laughed at me during their “jokes” that reminded me of THEN, you told me to forget them.
They told me to get away, you begged me to stay.
They rejoiced when I left, you wept in silence.

Their taunting voices echo in my head, your reasonable pleas drowned by the torrent.
They urge me to pick up the gun, you try to tell me to stop.
Their mocking faces glare at me after I pull the trigger, your face streaked with tears.

…Goodbye my friend…

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